Movies lead to introspection and incoherence..

It is time to close all chapters ...
but what can one do when all are already closed...
Starting a new one is again going to be the same ...
Life IS predictable to a certain extent..

Now we have stepped into that threshold of existence..when you feel old..and tired and unprepared..
Till now everything was expected..thought out..now it is downright scary..
It has not reached the Why me stage...but it's in the me vs them stage prelimnaries
The possibility of dousing out/dissolving (yeah i know it's kind of a corollary) is there
But how /when ..a mystery..
Now that the warming up introspection post is up there something better will follow....

SING SING A SONG ..i want to sing along but its..RIGGED

It has been ages since i wrote anything..

To me it is a wonder that my world has become all numbers and somewhere i've chosen it myself as if to prove am mentally al right...

But sanity returns when i realise that i still like italics=> my idiosyncracies are still intact..

whew what a relief !!

Everyone who writes is in love with certain euphemisms, expressions or puctuations..

for me it is ITALICS and Exclamation marks !!

Now coming on to what brought me out of slumber to write (apart from the fact that i have easy net access now)...is GOD SAVE ME ..some talent hunt show on television (of the N number running today)..which i have actually followed for three weeks that too... close to it's finale when the so called janata (read media) frenzy is at a maddening height.

Even though it's relatively more sane ..less dramatic..and patronising than the rest i have seen on and off....it is rigged..it is fixed..and so obviously that i wonder what is not anyone saying anything !!!...

Though these few words may not help..it atleast settles some angst ..and maybe would make a difference somewhere..

Once the rigged results are out in the favour of the favoured candidate ..am gonna definitely write to our very own media - print and online atleast ..

PS: it was strictly under parental guidance and influence that i was allowed /co erced/endoctrinated to view the program..

Adios..till we say OLA OLA next ..

Reminder

Reminder to me self: Well..jst a chhut one liner.Am not dead and gone.Cybosphere is not very accessible dese days...shall post asap

Touch and Go...a race against time ..once again

As the days slip by ..like sand through my fingers....some moments stick on like the wet salt in the Rann...tingling...engrained ....which harden and brush off after a few moments...jst as faces will blur...contact will be lost..and most memories will fade away..
What will remain is a contorted version of a reality we all have lived together..essentially as each one of us wished it to be as.....If life can not take the course we want it to..memories sure can !!
The last one month has been an eye opener after a rather long lull in the last term..
From the formals shopping to decide what to wear for the D day...to the mandatory attendance at the presentations..to the final week long horror or rather dazed existence where each one of us had our own battle to win and devils to take care of (we were no better than devils on some GD's)...
The week was an eye opener..to my own impulsive behaviour ...repetition of the pattern that has marked my life (missing by a chance that is..)..and above all to the strength of character and sense of humour shown by some amazing individuals....This leads me to wonder that are people essentially selfish ? well now i believe they are 'giving' by nature..the stereotype of " selfishness" droves them to conform....ah coming back to the week..
Being happy for some people who got what they wanted..and proud of those who showed remarkable patience to get what they want ..or making do with what they did not want...has essentially renewed faith in the people around me...I realised i may not "love" all of them ..but respect i definitely do...

the week led on to the bash ..alumni meetwhere familiar faces of seniors..mingled with the joy of some and dissappointment of others..brought about the realisation home..it'll be us coming down next yr for the alumni meet..there ain't much time left...I was glad to see some of the faces that turned up..but the bashfullness that i expected is still missing on my part....and they call me an extrovert !! The novelty of shopping (i hate it otherwise)..for the first time for a party..to dissapointment..well it all comes together doesn't it...

The days flowed into techy simulation game exercises marked by general disinterest and some annoying blobs of interest....to the trip to the Rann..Though brief..it was a surreal experience ..the beauty of the expanse of dry cracked open land near water deceptively parched and squishy underneath...to the salt pans and mounds....boy i realised the beauty of dust !!!..anyways..let's see wat remains and this one time am leaving it to ....

verses in a poem

When the silence pervades the gloom
The stillness morphes into eternity
A voice beckons..the echo resonating
The being, the soul, the spirit.

It is not the end of the world
Just a harbinger of the same
The wait’s just about to end.
Of a new beginning being made.

Result of lecture on metaphor analysis…

I like this cos this is nice and u start liking it
Then you think later..oh I might get over it one day suddenly
Cos I forced me self to like it!!!
And u worry no end..whether the emotion felt is genuine or not
But the truth is …vene though wat u decided to feel …u may not feel the same
But feel. U will

Once you start feeling something , it never dies
It may become dormant, if you think too much or take another course
But twill remain
And trust me it’s always genuine, what you feel
Because the heart and mind connect at some level
For u are not in a silo, nor is your being, your senses and even your organs….

So that ends procrastination
As a chapter ends and several other continue and new ones begin….

Again

What was familiar before comes back to me
There is a sweet remembrance.. a delicate fondness
It is the grip of nostalgia…
But it is the sweetest when it comes back unplanned..a surprise
It’s brief and it’s beautiful
It’s not flashback..but moving ahead from where it stopped..when it’s most beautiful
As if there was never a pause
There are new links that are missing …but the old ones have strengthened in the meanwhile
You may the only part in the pre existing circle…but u remain a fundamental point
A connection ….
So why feel let down that things have changed .. or people moved on…to new things
New horizons. New people…
For you have too…..you just don’t know it…

.............Letting go is beautiful ..............